CHAPTER THREE – WANT

 

Carlos said nothing. Biting his lower lip as he laid flat on his back on his towel. Sean sighed when his partner covered his eyes with one forearm as if Carlos could end the conversation by not looking at him. Sean wondered if he wanted the conversation to end or to finally get this secret off his chest. Because the truth was that he was gay, but no one in the Department knew that.

 

What about Branish? He knows. He made that damned clear.

 

Branish had let that piece of info slip right after the Radek bust. Lustov Radek was a weasely little turd of a man who sold meth and liked to fuck teen boys. Sean had gone undercover as a fellow connoisseur of underage male flesh. He had gotten to be Radek’s best friend. What Sean had had to do to earn that friendship still gave him sweaty nightmares, but he’d done it to put the bastard away.

 

The bust was supposed to go down when Radek took Sean to a club appropriately named Skin. In a back room, he and Radek had been shown “special” services. Those included a spread of find Russian caviar and cured meats. The thought of eating vanished when Sean saw what else was on the menu. Teens, some no older than 14, were brought in wearing only collars around their necks and brands on their flanks. Like cattle. They branded those kids like cattle.

 

Radek got up from the low velvet couch they were sitting on to go over to the teens. He grabbed a handful of a blonde boy’s hair and yanked the child’s head back until the kid gave a gasp of pain. The boy looked to be about 17. His blue eyes were huge and his nostrils flared with fear. Skin didn’t sell “used” goods. All of these boys were supposedly virgin and unspoiled. But they are broken. Trained. That’s why the kid stayed on his hands and knees and didn’t try to get away.

 

“A little old for me, but still isn’t he the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” Radek said. “Can you imagine a piece of ass like this still virgin and sweet? What the fuck were his parents thinking letting him go downtown by himself? Looking like he does, he’s bound to get in trouble.”

 

Radek leaned down and licked a stripe across the boy’s cheek. Sean took a huge mouthful of his drink to stop his gorge from rising or from going over and ripping Radek off the kid. Just a few more minutes and it’ll be over. The Unit will be in here as soon as the sale is made.

 

Skin’s flesh purveyor, Gustov Samir, had spread his hands out to his sides, an oily smile crossing his too broad face as he said to Sean, “Pick one. “

 

“He’ll pick two. It’s on me tonight,” Radek said then downed another shot of vodka so cold it was frosting the glass.

 

“You first,” Sean offered, mildly.

 

“But you’re the guest! Oh, hell, you know me too well. I am a pig when I do not get first choice,” Radek chortled. He fingered the blonde boy’s hair again.

 

“His name’s Jamie,” Samir said.

 

“So old, but so pretty. I must have him. First time in the saddle. He’ll be so hot and tight. Do you want to watch, Sean? Watch as I pound Jamie’s virgin ass?” Radek asked as he smacked his lips.

 

Jamie’s eyes met Sean’s and time seemed to slow, but the boy’s actions sped up. Sean watched, frozen on the couch, as Jamie lunged for the wicked-looking knife on the table. The boy plunged the blade into Radek’s thigh. The rat bastard went down with a shriek of pain. He rolled back and forth, clutching at his leg, squealing. Samir made a grab for the teen, spittle on his lips, face reddened with fury, but Jamie slashed at him with the knife. Samir scrabbled back out of stab-range.

 

“Don’t!” Sean yelled as Jamie brought the blade up in front of his own chest.

 

Those blue eyes flashed with despair and terror. Even as Sean was on his feet and halfway to the teen, it was too late. Jamie plunged the knife into his chest. Only the hilt remained exposed as he toppled over.

 

Sean hunkered down beside the dying boy. Jamie’s eyes were so clear. Like I could see right into his soul.

 

“It’s going to be okay. We’re going to call you an ambulance,” Sean said, even as he knew it wasn’t going to be okay. No ambulance would be able to get there in time.

 

The sound of booted feet and the cries of ‘police’ met his ears, but he didn’t turn, didn’t even acknowledge the police as they crashed into the room. He was holding the boy’s hand and trying by force of will alone to keep the child in his body. But Jamie gave one last rattling breath and his blue eyes lost the gleam of life.

 

Carlos had been the one to “arrest” Sean and take him to the precinct in order to keep his cover from being blown. But once the charade was over, Sean begged away from everyone and went into the locker room to be alone. He stripped off the blood soaked clothes and stepped into the communal shower. He stood under the scalding hot spray, still and silent, unable to think anything but: Jamie was minutes away from being saved and now he’s dead.

 

Sean didn’t believe there was enough water in the world to wash off the boy’s scent of terror and despair from his skin. If only I had acted sooner. Forgotten the bust. Forgotten damned protocol. Just gotten that boy out of the place. Away from Lustov’s hands and tongue and foul cock. Jamie would be alive now.

 

When his skin felt scoured by the hot water, he reluctantly turned off the spray and wrapped a towel around his slender waist. His soaking hair sent trails of water down his body, pebbling his nipples and raising goose bumps on his skin, as he walked over to his locker. That was when Branish cleared his throat.

 

Sean whipped around to face him. Branish was as tall as Sean, but bigger. The Lieutenant’s size had never intimidated him as he had plenty of muscle himself, but somehow, at that moment, in the locker room, alone with the older man, Sean felt a hint of fear.

 

“Rough night,” the Lieutenant said, his deep, gravelly voice echoing in the empty, half-lit locker room.

 

“Yeah, that’s one way of putting it,” Sean said.

 

The hint of fear he felt made Sean bold or perhaps foolish was a better description. Instead of grabbing another towel from the rack to dry his hair, he used the one around his waist to do the job. Totally naked in front of the other man, he could almost feel Branish’s eyes rake over his body like a physical caress.

 

Sean knew he’d made a terrible mistake exposing himself like this, but he had never been one to be pursued by another alpha male. He was always the aggressor. But not this time, a small voice echoed in his mind. He swatted it away.

 

Branish’s head cocked to the side and he stared at Sean in that searching way of his. “Something on your mind, Sean?

 

“Nothing, sir. Lustov’s out off the streets and Skin is out of business,” he answered coolly, even as his cheeks heated at the other man’s unabashed appraisal of his physique.

 

“What’s eating you then?” Branish pressed even as his eyes hooded with ill-concealed desire.

 

Sean clenched his hands into fists. He slung the towel around his neck in defiance of the man’s leering. “The fact is that an innocent boy is dead.”

 

“That’s not it. Or not fully it,” Branish said, walking towards him until there was only a foot of space between them.

 

The Lieutenant then slipped off his jacket and tossed it on the bench. Sean’s eyes followed the falling material then swung back to the older man. His gaze was drawn to Branish’s tie as the Lieutenant tugged it off and let it slither to the ground. Sean felt the silk material slide over his feet.

 

What the hell is he doing? Part of Sean’s mind asked, even as another part gave a hysterical laugh in response. You know what he’s doing. Has it been so damned long since you’ve thought about sex that you can’t recognize being pursued?

 

“I know what it’s like to look at something you desperately want to possess but then watch it slip through your fingers,” Branish said, as undid the first few buttons of his shirt exposing the tops of his well-defined pectoral muscles.

 

The masculine, spicy scent of him washed over Sean. His heart began to pound in his chest as the Lieutenant leanted forward. Sean jerked back from the older man. The lockers rattled when his elbows slammed against them. Branish caught hold of the damp towel around his shoulders and stopped him from getting away. The cool metal of the lockers pressed against his bare buttocks and the danger of his nudity was suddenly made clear to him.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Sean had meant the question to come out indignant, angry, but instead his voice sounded water weak.

 

Branish drew the towel away from Sean’s neck, dropping it casually to the floor. Sean swallowed hard as Branish pressed up against him. He felt the rough brush of Branish’s pants against his bare thighs. Sean gave a disgusted gasp as he felt his cock twitch as the Lieutenant’s hot breath ghosted over his face.

 

“The boy,” Branish said. “The dead boy. You wanted him. You wanted to possess him and now he’s beyond your grasp.”

 

Sean shook his head violently. “I didn’t want to possess Jamie! I wanted to save him!”

 

“Save him?” Branish murmured.

 

His gray eyes darkened as he reached and barely brushed Sean’s cheek with his knuckles. Sean flinched, but his head hit the lockers and there was nowhere else for him to go.

 

“Save him from the horror of being raped by Lustov?” Branish asked, his deep voice skating across Sean’s skin. “Save him from feeling disgust at a man’s touch because of it? Save him for yourself?”

 

“I didn’t – I wouldn’t! You’re crazy! You’re fucking crazy!” Sean tried to shout, but his voice again was breathless and reedy. He sounded guilty.

 

Had he thought of any of the teens like that? Had he thought of any of the parade of porcelain-skinned boys that had been made to sit on his lap as something he wanted to possess? Yes, oh, God, I did. Not the younger ones, but the older ones. The ones I could have had if I had met them someplace else. Yes, those I wanted. I got hard at the thought of them. I didn’t touch though. Never touched.

 

Branish leaned in further. Sean twisted his head away so that they weren’t nose to nose, but that was the wrong move, because it allowed Branish to shift in closer. He buried his handsome, hawk-like face in Sean’s hair.

 

“I know, Sean. I understand. Because how you felt about Jamie,” Branish whispered, his lips brushing against Sean’s neck, “is how I feel about you."

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